Uncategorized

A year in review of All The Things 2018

fullsizeoutput_203.jpeg

If I had to choose 1 word to describe this past year, it would be change.  I have been told, in the past, that I don’t handle change well.  As I have gotten older, the realization came that life is nothing but a series of changes.  Ha!  So, one can surmise that I don’t handle life well…didn’t handle life well.  You see, 2018 was not only about change, but deciding how to handle it.  The decision could have been made to stay the same.  Keep existing, sit super still, not move, and stay where I was…or to move and do, and live life, instead of just existing through it.   That is what I chose to do this past year.  I chose not only to endure change, but to generate it.

January started with beginning to blog, choosing to build a network marketing business, and create a Facebook group and Instagram.  This might not sound like much to you, but for a pencil and paper kind of gal, not tech savvy, it was a lot for me!  I had no idea what I was doing or how to go about doing it!  I just decided to jump in and do it scared.  If you are familiar with the color personalities, I am not a red, so this was not natural for me, but it was necessary.  As a mother of 3 children and 2 with special needs, many years have been spent taking care of others and helping to make ends meet.  Somewhere along the way I lost myself.  I was buried deep in a 9 to 5 job that I dreaded going to every morning.  My house was cluttered, my body was sluggish, and my heart was heavy.  I don’t regret taking care of my family.  I just didn’t remember to take care of myself, too.

Blogging has given me a way to connect with others.  When we choose to put ourselves out there, we quickly find that we aren’t the only ones that feel a certain way about a certain thing or that we like the same kinds of foods or we are in the same phase of life, stage in our marriage, or we have the same interests. We also find that people are much kinder and supportive than social media sometimes makes us think.  The love and support that I have received from all of you has been so very heart warming!

Network marketing has been a huge learning curve.  It is not something I ever thought that I would like to do, but I have found a product and a company that I absolutely believe in.  This year has been one of growth, personally and as a team.  I have an organization of people who are like minded and are finding our products to be beneficial in their lives and that makes me happy. As a result of my new business venture of learning to help others support their health and wellness, I began a Facebook group for product education and camradery.  It’s more fun doing it together.

By April of 2018, I decided to make a huge change that not only affected me, but everyone in my family.  I chose to resign from my 9 to 5 job and come home and focus on my family and Sweet Home Healthy Family, my Young Living business, full-time.  This has allowed me to go on a Disney field trip with our youngest, clean out closets, update my bathroom (still in process), and cook like crazy, to name just a few things.  I have had the time to invest in others.  For the first time, I was able to participate in our county’s annual Christmas Gift Shop, which helps provide Christmas gifts, prayer, and the presentation of the gospel.  Our family was able to take several trips for weddings, wedding receptions, Thanksgiving,  a trip to the beach, and a much-needed get-away for two.  No worries of being allowed the time off or having time to prepare Lauren’s meals, if needed.  I am home to take Michael to school and pick him up and make sure he takes the supplements needed for him to stay healthy and able to focus and finish projects.  My house is cleaner than it has been in years.  Christmas/December was not stressful for the first time in years.  I am not exhausted.

 

Finally, I have made the time to work on my marriage and on me.  I have prayed like crazy this past year and God has been faithful.  A prayer that I have been praying for 25 years was answered.  Steve now prays with me daily.  That is not something that he felt very comfortable doing in years past, but he has realized how important it is to me and for us.  We have both worked very hard these last six months on us.  I am supportive of his need for speed ie…bmx racing, and he is supportive of my need to be the hands on mom and keeper of our home.  I dole out the vitamins, supplements, and Ningxia Red to keep our immune systems humming, and he helps me carry the heavy things, works on the vehicles, (not that women can’t do that.  I have changed the brake shoes on a min-van before 😉 and he shows our children how a wife should be treated-with love.  We have, again, found what works for us and a new rhythm.

fullsizeoutput_134

I am happy.  I have accomplished many of the goals I had at the beginning of this year and worked through the tough things that came our way via unhappy work situations, marriage issues, the passing of dear family members and friends, a new adventure into network marketing and health and wellness.  I do not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future and am excited for the coming year.  I am praying that each of you has a very happy and healthy new year, as well.

 

Looking forward to 2019!

Cindy

DSC_8473_edited-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

Marriage- In light of All the Things

I have gone back and forth in my mind about whether or not I should write this post.  It is kind of putting it all out there, but my blog is about all the things.  Life is big and creative and messy and although I want to be pleasing to the eye, like an Instagram photo, I also want to be real and relatable.  So, if I haven’t scared you off yet, continue reading.  😉

If you read my post about our beach vacation, I was open about things being a little tense between Steve and me that week.  Honestly, they have been a lot tense for a while now.  We have been married for over 25 years.  We still love each other.  Things are just hard right now.  Any marriage that is perfect or happy ALL of the time, in my opinion, just isn’t real.  Don’t get me wrong.  We are a really good team.  We work extremely well together.  We are both quick to apologize and quick to forgive.  We can work around a kitchen and whip up a week’s worth of allergen free meals and get them delivered to a university an hour away in a flash.  We can work together to get the hours of homework done with our youngest.  We can work together smoothly without argument and get our daughter moved into her first apartment.  We can handle ALL the things of family life well together.

We are just in a new phase, stage, chapter – whatever you want to call it- of life.  Our oldest has started her first career job, moved into her first apartment, and is officially off the payroll now.  Our middle one, with the food allergies, is moving into an apartment for the remainder of her college life and will be able to do most of her own cooking from here on out.  She has been practicing all summer and she will have a kitchen to be able to do it.   Our youngest will be starting high-school in the fall.  He will be the only one living with us when the school year starts.  I thought that things would be easier, less hectic and that we would have more time for each other, as the focus for the last 25 years has mostly been the kids and their special needs, etc…  We DO have more time, however, we seem to be floating in different directions.  I have found myself with hurt feelings more and more often because our visions just don’t seem to line up anymore.

I have started reading a book called, The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie OMartian.  In the first chapter, she advises that love is diminished if we dwell on the negatives.  Love grows if we focus on the positive.  She encourages you to pray from the right heart and that it is impossible to truly give yourself in prayer for your husband without first examining your own heart.  I cannot expect God to answer my prayers if I harbor unforgiveness, bitterness, or resentment.  If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear. Psalm 66:18   She states “God wants our hearts to be right so the answers to our prayers are not compromised.”

Hmm… thinking.  Mulling that over…

Sometimes, that’s hard.  What about when you feel he has been indifferent, or uncaring, or just makes you mad?  But what about me, Lord?  Don’t my feelings count?  Can’t I just pray for you to change him? If I’m honest, these were the first questions that came to my mind.  From reading just the first few chapters, I am learning that powerful and effective prayers come down to a matter of the heart.  God wants our hearts to be one with His.  He is waiting for me to lay all of my expectations and desires at the foot of the cross.  He wants to change me.  He wants to change Steve, too, but in His time and on His terms.  That’s hard because that means that I don’t have control over what happens.  I have to be patient and wait on the Lord.  I have to trust that All things work for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28

Steve and I have talked about things, how we seem to be struggling right now and as my impatience with him has grown, his irritability with me has, as well.  Not a pretty picture, but honest.

ALL the things.

I started to say that sometimes it feels like it would just be easier to give up and start over, but that isn’t true…and I believe that is the enemy speaking lies.  I had that thought because having tough conversations is hard.  It is draining.  It isn’t happy.  You get tired of disagreeing and seeing no way over things when you just don’t see things the same way.  So, what do you do?  Well, pray. Hard!  We are both working together to get on the same page with each other.  We are each trying harder than I think either of us has been for a while.  It is easy to just put it on auto pilot and continue on with all the things of life and not address issues.  That comes back to haunt you.  We are praying together, consistently.  Praying together has never been consistent in our marriage.

Instead of just asking me out to a movie or out to eat, Steve called me up one afternoon and said he had a change of plans.  He said that there were 2 tickets left to see Beauty and the Beast at our Community Theatre, if I wanted to go.  I cried.  You see, I was a Music Education major in college, vocal major, full tuition vocal scholarship, coloratura soprano, and I love musical theatre and all things singing.  Just so you get the full picture.  My husband does not sing.  He loves all things racing.  That’s cars – full size or remote control, motocross, BMX.  As a matter of fact, I am still nursing him back to health from a BMX injury, broken rib and all.  Have you ever had to take care of someone you are mad at?  That’s a whole ‘nuther blog post.  Anyway- He is also a drummer.  He does not sing or dance or like to watch it.   He was trying.  Putting forth effort to make things better.  I have been trying harder, too, or at least I think I have.  I try to have dinner at least started if not on the table when he gets home and a pleasant look on my face, instead of a complaint about something on my lips.  I just mean that I am putting forth extra effort to show him that I love him and he is appreciated, too.  Now, I’m not saying that we can’t do things apart from each other.  That is not our problem.  Of course, I won’t go into minute details of our struggles.  As like any other couple, we just have some things we need to work on and one of those for me, is allowing God to make my heart more like His and trust that He is working on Steve’s heart, too.   As we grow closer to the Lord, I know that we will grow closer to each other.

36343408_10214038866338326_4779511633590353920_n

Romans 15:5-6 says, May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Just keeping it real this post.  I am trusting that we can get back to a happier us.

Lover, giver, and endurer of All The Things,

 

Cindy