Well, it has been a little over a year since my very open post on married life and all the things and I thought I might visit with you about where we are. Steve and I have been married now for 26 years. Last year we hit a pretty rough patch. I confessed how we didn’t seem to be on the same page anymore. At the time, it felt more like not even in the same library!
We have become more intentional in our relationship. Praying together before we walk out the door to go to work, school or whereever happens every morning. Every morning. Do we still have moments of frustration with each other or times we don’t see eye to eye? Yes, but it is less often and less intense. We seem to have found a new rhythm.
It was really different with both the girls out of the house and just Michael under our roof. I recognized Steve’s need for BMX and all that entails and I think he has recognized that I needed to decompress from my former job and just be mom and wife for a while. I needed to get our home back together. We have also discovered that I have been dealing with some health issues that explains my exhaustion all of the time and why I couldn’t seem to do all of the things and keep up like I used to. I am feeling much better, sleeping again, which helps alot! I guess the pace of the Bierman household has slowed down compared to when there were five of us here, but we still have plenty to keep us busy!
I have noticed that Steve and I both acknowledge what is important to the other more readily. We definitley make time for each other. We are much more intentional about our relationship. I guess it’s just that it was easier before kids, multiple kids and all that goes with that. It sounds so simple yet we somehow still wound up where we did and had to fight our way back to each other. It was worth the fight. It is easy to just build a wall and do your own thing when things are tense. It is difficult to stay affectionate with someone you feel at odds with. However, choosing to show our spouse love and affection, even when it would be easier not to, benefits the both of us. I have found that when we do the hard work, God blesses that.
The most powerful change we have made is praying with each other. To some people it may sound kind of corny, but to me, it has made a big difference. I’m not saying that when we pray all of the clouds depart and a rainbow appears and all of our problems go away. I am saying that I believe and trust in God’s word and that He is faithful to keep His promises. According to Lamentations 3:22-23, His lovingkindnesses never cease. For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is His faithfulness.
I began writing this post back in May or June, I think. It is now August. School has started. Our college girl is not at school, but is home dealing with some pretty heavy health issues. An unexpected change that we didn’t see coming. We’ve had lots of unexpecteds this summer. So the new rhythm will have to become a new, new rhythm. Ha! Anyway, new challenges and new stressors, but we still have the same God with us and I know that we will work through these new challenges together, too. Praying all the way.
A chord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12